That’s been one of the hardest parts for me Mary. However it does actually make it easier.
Yes, it does. All that is required of you is to see the truth, as it’s only about the truth, this being done as I’ve been saying, through your feelings. So what this means is that when you feel bad, you stop and acknowledge that you do feel bad, to accept and allow yourself to have those feelings, and you don’t push them away. Then you express them to your friend or partner - even your therapist, someone who is willing to listen to all you have to say. And as you’re expressing your feelings, speaking with the emotion of how you are feeling, you long to uncover and see the truth of what’s causing them. And that’s ALL you do. You don’t try and find the causes, you wait and allow the truth to come up within you and show them to you. You by all means discuss all you want to, all you think and feel with your partner, but all of this being done simply with the aim of seeing how you are, understanding how you are in your negative state. You don’t have to try and change yourself, it’s only and all about accepting yourself as you are. And naturally as you see how you are, as you see especially all the bad parts, your bad and unloving behaviour and the beliefs that control it, you will choose to no longer be this way, however that’s all you do. You don’t try and use positive affirmation for example to change yourself, to make yourself be loving or a better person. You just keep expressing how being this way makes you feel, as you see all the bad and unloving parts of yourself, all your dark side if you like; you just keep speaking about how seeing how these aspects of yourself make you feel. And of course if they make you feel like you don’t want to be that way anymore, you express those feelings - why don’t you want to be that way anymore, and how does being that way make you feel. You keep the focus on yourself, it’s all about you, you accepting ALL how you are. You are owning up to your evilness, saying I am like this, I am wrong, I am bad in these ways, and I hate being this way, and being this way makes me feel... And you keep going. You DON’T have to do anything else. The aim is not to solve the problem, not to correct your wrongness, not to even make amends if you don’t feel so inclined; and even if you do, to ensure you keep speaking about all you feel. You must always keep speaking and expressing and emoting your feelings and longing for the truth of them.
So we just have to see how we are. I know that sounds obvious, but see the whole truth of how wrong we are? And not try and change or even stop being bad.